Don’t get me wrong, it was printed exactly the way I wanted it: matt cover, french flaps, none of the pages are upside down… there’s nothing wrong with it. This always happens when something I illustrated arrives in the mail - I wrote about it before
I've definitely felt that way after large projects. I stayed up for 2 nights to finish work on an experimental comics project years ago and ended up in a funk for months. Something I was so excited about and proud of while I was working on it left me feeling embarrassed and depressed once it was finished and out in the world.
For me, it seems to be a sense of loss. I had a single goal and all my energy knew exactly where to focus. Without that goal all my energy seems to flow into self criticism. I notice all the flaws of the previous work, worry about how the audience will perceive it. In general I end up feeling sort of aimless and that tends to be dangerous for me.
What to do about it? I dunno. Go on vacation, go for a run, start another giant thing... life's all about balance and as rewarding as completing a project can be it often just throws me off for a bit.
That sense if loss is an interesting one. I'm not sure if that's it for me, but I like how you connect that with where your energy flows.
Thinking about this a little more, I think I'm mostly terrified that I made a mistake. And that it will be here until the end of time and there's nothing I can do about that.
You’re a perfectionist so it’ll never live up to what you imagine(d) in your perfectionist brain. Which doesn’t mean you knew exactly how it was meant to turn out; it’s your brain playing tricks. Override this and BE PROUD (also something most of us find hard to embrace as it feels like bragging 🙈).
You are not focusing correctly. Your sentence that said "I hope you are not the only creator feeling this way." You should be proud and yelling off the roof top about being a "CREATOR". Not too many of us are. How wonderful that must be to be a creator of something. Thank you for being on this planet at the same time I am. And dont forget to keep creating whatever it is.
Oh wow, I didn't even think of that. I don't want to seem ungrateful for being able to do the work I do. I love it. But I think there's also this idea that getting a book out in the world will make everything perfect. And maybe part of this angsty feeling is that it didn't work like that. Maybe we should talk about the reality of these things just a little more. :)
I've definitely felt that way after large projects. I stayed up for 2 nights to finish work on an experimental comics project years ago and ended up in a funk for months. Something I was so excited about and proud of while I was working on it left me feeling embarrassed and depressed once it was finished and out in the world.
For me, it seems to be a sense of loss. I had a single goal and all my energy knew exactly where to focus. Without that goal all my energy seems to flow into self criticism. I notice all the flaws of the previous work, worry about how the audience will perceive it. In general I end up feeling sort of aimless and that tends to be dangerous for me.
What to do about it? I dunno. Go on vacation, go for a run, start another giant thing... life's all about balance and as rewarding as completing a project can be it often just throws me off for a bit.
That sense if loss is an interesting one. I'm not sure if that's it for me, but I like how you connect that with where your energy flows.
Thinking about this a little more, I think I'm mostly terrified that I made a mistake. And that it will be here until the end of time and there's nothing I can do about that.
Pretty epic achievement, we are nowhere near close to creating a book for our comics but I'd imagining plenty of overthinking will go into it!!
You’re a perfectionist so it’ll never live up to what you imagine(d) in your perfectionist brain. Which doesn’t mean you knew exactly how it was meant to turn out; it’s your brain playing tricks. Override this and BE PROUD (also something most of us find hard to embrace as it feels like bragging 🙈).
I bet it’s AMAZING and we’ll all love it 👍🥳
Thank you so much Annet, I will try to be proud. But I'll also allow myself to give it some time. :)
I had the exact same feeling about my PhD dissertation... 🙁
Any idea why you were feeling that way?
Nope, not at all 😢
You are not focusing correctly. Your sentence that said "I hope you are not the only creator feeling this way." You should be proud and yelling off the roof top about being a "CREATOR". Not too many of us are. How wonderful that must be to be a creator of something. Thank you for being on this planet at the same time I am. And dont forget to keep creating whatever it is.
Oh wow, I didn't even think of that. I don't want to seem ungrateful for being able to do the work I do. I love it. But I think there's also this idea that getting a book out in the world will make everything perfect. And maybe part of this angsty feeling is that it didn't work like that. Maybe we should talk about the reality of these things just a little more. :)
Thank you for your kind comment.