A whirlpool of self doubt
So here’s what happened. I was typing and drawing away, feeling absolutely pleased with myself. Don’t get me wrong! I wasn’t thinking ‘I am the best, everybody will love this!’ I was thinking that this is what I’ve been wanting to make for a while and it’s coming out exactly the way I want it to. It’s a great feeling!
I felt so good about it, I pitched the story to a literary agent.
And then, the posts I had scheduled started to publish. Feedback was coming my way. I got some really nice messages and even some new paid subscribers. That made my heart sing. I got some likes, but maybe not as many as I would have liked to see. And a few people unsubscribed. If you start something new, some people will love it, others won’t. I expected that and still find it hard to deal with.
Then the agent emailed me back. He didn’t accept, he didn’t decline. He had some really thoughtful feedback.
Next thing I know…
… I’m sucked into a whirlpool of overthinking.
All of this to say, I need some time to figure this out. The main question is, how should I structure this story? I was working chronologically so far, but does that make sense going forward? It doesn’t leave room for some things I want to say and forces me to include things that are not all that interesting. Who cares if I got arrested before or after I got mad about Ugly Christmas Sweaters?
But if not chronological, then how? Feel free to chime in! Feedback is good, it just takes some time to process.
While I mull this over, I will keep making comics! If there’s one thing I’ve learned about this process it’s this: the best way to get out of a whirlpool of overthinking and self doubt, it’s to just get back to creating until you catch the next wave of …
With love,
P.S. If you’re new here and have no clue what story I’m referring to start reading here.
I feel this. Just launched my substack full of enthusiasm. It’s easy for doubts to start creeping in despite evidence you’re in the right track. I’m focused on the here and now to stop spiraling
Know you have company in the whirlpool! I second the index cards idea, I do something similar but on a white board that allows me to draw linking lines and connecting thread lines between things as well as move them. Seeing a visual line connecting things helps, sometimes even seeing new ways in which totally different things are connected. I had a teacher once say to me, "you are looking for the golden thread that runs through your experiences". what is that thing that unifies and links everything together, for me it was a desire to repair and care for things and people, to see potential in everyone and everything, that gave me a clarity that was helpful. Remember, have fun with it! xo